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Friday, October 14, 2005

MI Key To Ra..!!!

Ok, so I made it home, after surviving the flood earlier in the evening. Feeling exhausted after the whole flood and traffic ordeal. So I parked my flood ravaged car and headed to the comforts of my apartment. Sleep was on my mind, but it was far from my agenda, even though I had work later in the night. I had a couple of assignments to do, well at least start. So I anxiously dashed to out of the car, trough the security door and presses the elevator button. So I’m at the elevator door and that’s where it happened
Backtrack: Let me give you a little history of this elevator. This elevator has malfunctioning door. At times it starts to open and as you are about to enter this damn elevator door maliciously start closing while you are going through it. An it nuh lock slow! So when this happens usually you would have to stop it from crushing you with your hand, by pushing back on the middle panel of the door. As a precaution I normally hold on to the button to ensure it stays open, but this particular evening I didn’t because it has been behaving itself.
So as I was entering the elevator, this damn door decides to close on me with murder in its eyes! So mi natural reaction was to stop it with my hand, my right hand, and the hand with the keys in it! Before I could register it the damn door boxed the key out of my hand! An as if it was in slow motion I saw the bunch of keys falling to the ground, falling in between the elevator and the walls of the shaft, down to the bottom of the shaft! Everything happening within a split second, “Mi keys to Ra$$! @%&*#%!* keys dem drop down the shaft, dutty ^%@#()*&#*! elevator.” You get the idea.
I was so pissed. What am I going to do? How was I to get in? The only person with a spare is off the island! Anyway I pulled myself together and went to the front gate and told the security of my misfortune. But alas, Mr. Security says, not to worry, he can help me get them back! “Whew”, I said in my mind. “But you will have to wait until di other security dem reach” he said. Being so happy about the possibility of getting back my keys and actually getting inside my apartment and getting some food (cause by now hungry a kill mi!) I said ok. So I told him I would be chillin' in my car until he is ready.
ZZZZZZZZ”...sleep till mi wake up and all now no security. With the hunger pains in my tummy things started to look hopeless again. Finally he came and said he was ready. Salvation at last! So we went in through the security door and Mr. Security enlightened me that he would get the two elevator keys (one the stop the elevator and prevent anyone from using it and the other to open the elevator door) and I would have to jump down the shaft and get them! Ratid, mi haffi go in de go get the keys, mi inna di shaft! But I really wanted my keys, so what could I do? I agreed. So I was home free now right? Right? Hell No!!!
Mr. Security says, “Mi cyan find the key fi stop the elevator.” What? What the Ra..! How the hell mi a go get mi key? The solution. “I will send the elevator to the top floor an open the elevator door and yuh jump down an get they keys”, he said. Do what? Jump in the shaft with my flashlight with the possibility of someone using it while, poor me, down there in the elevator shaft! Madness!!! A dead him want mi fi dead? “Dear Heavenly Father…” I said in my prayer and jumped down the shaft like a sheep to the slaughter. I’ve never jumped down somewhere, grabbed something and climbed a ladder so quick in my life! I was like the flash, of some “Jamaican petty thief”.
Finally, my keys were rescued, I could do my assignments and yes nyam some food! Told Mr. Security thanks and headed into the wicked elevator. Oh yeh, mi mek sure mi hold down pon di button this time.

16 commented:

So oonoo don't have stairs? An elevator like that should not be taken at all, plus the exercise is good.

Elevator from hell. Yuh sure that elevator should be in service?

ROFL You sure Mr Security guy didn't make you jump down the shaft just for his own amusement? That's some serious Fear Factor foolishness.

Man Stunner-Thanks goodness you retrieved your keys safely. I can just imagine how you were feeling.

haha its like a episode of surviver. I guess you ain't hardcore unless you live hardcore

My yute, that was some funny shyte yu hear me! I am here teaching a class and just can't hold back the laughter! To see Stunner jumping down the elevator shaft is just too funny!

Elevator shafts in movies cause many deaths lucky it wasnt a movie


Lol,funny.Glad you get them tho

I'm gonna have to agree with Mad Bull - take the stairs! It made for an interesting read though ;)

Well, at least you survived. I hear you guys are having constant rain and storms? I'm in the UK and it is the warmest October for years. Something strange going on.

Good you got the keys. But I doh know that I would be jumping inna no elevator shaft.

Good read tho.


nice post lots of excitement in your life eh? enjoy yuh weekend.

bloodfiya...I had my hands over my eyes reading it!! I ad that hapen to me once as well, but they went and got them for me...difference for what security do for a lady and a man, lol

Yow Man,
I cut out for a week and u turn action man on me. U dont think u taking this fitness thing too far

Bwoy babes. Cant I leave you on your own for one second. I leave the island not even one day good and you down the elevator shaft.

I think I will take you guys advice an start practicing wailking up the stairs. Glad you guys enjoyed readin bout the dilema though. Mi caan seh mi life boring at all.