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Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Rat-aliation! (I Smell A Rat II)

Flashback to a couple posts ago, when I wrote about the rodent invasion I suffered on my back balcony and my subsequent defensive measures. Well, I thought I was succeeding in my fight against the killer rats that were creating havoc on my balcony. Well I was wrong!

A few days ago, I went out to throw some clothes in my washing machine that is located on the said porch as I had a few items I wanted to wash. In they went in the machine, the soap and the machine began to thrash out the dirt. A few minutes later i noticed I didn't hear the familiar hum of the agitator. "That's strange, the clothes cyaan done wash already!", I said to myself. So I went out to investigate, only to notice that the machine had stopped in the "rinse" cycle. As much as I tried I could not get the machine to start! Could it be a belt, could it be a switch ore worse, could it be the motor. However, immediately I suspected my enemy the Rats! Those bastards must have found a way to get back at me for the rat poison, and sabotaging my washing machine was their plan. Immediately I started feeling the effects of not having my washing machine, as I had to wring out my clothes with my hand and within a few days my dirty clothes started to pile up. So I had to call Courts to get a recommended service technician and scheduled an appointment for this morning.

The service technician came this morning and yes, I was right! It was those despicable, disgusting, dutty stinking bastards! When he removed the shell of the machine, rat feces was everywhere all over the floor where the washing machine stood. There was also one type of rat poison, the blue one. It seems they knew the blue one was poison, as the ate the other one and carried the blue one under my washing machine and mixed it with their feces in an act of spiteful defiance! And worse of all they decided to make me pay and defecated all over on of the switches that controlled the motor and rendered it useless. Those bastard! I can hear them sing their sweet revenge as the look along from the shadows at my plight!

The repairs set me back $5000 (~US$ 70)! Oh the humanity! [Stunner hold his head in grief] Those dutty stinking varmints! [Stunner face changes to that of a man crazed by rage] It was actually $5400, but the service technician gave me a discount, not because of my suffering, but only because he didn't have any change. But those damn rats just put a serious dent in my weak pocket and pissed me off even more! But the war is not over, they have only strengthen my resolve. Now I will not only set poison behind my balcony, but even at the garbage receptacles where they seem to congregate to hatch their evil plots and at the foot of trees! No more will I buy the blue one that they know, but with that $400 I got back I will buy the other one that they gobbled up leaving no trace. Heck, I may even buy one of those old time traps that snaps down on the necks just to get the satisfaction of watching the bastard/s suffer a slow, painful, antagonizing death! The stakes are now even higher, the attacks have become even more personal, this is only the beginning of their pangs of distress, they will learn to fear The Stunner!!!!!!

15 commented:

I feel it for you..NOT hehee lol, i'm siding with the rats, i hope they win this ongoing battle, go rats go (jk/s)

Hopefully,the washing machine is the only appliance they have sabotaged.Wage war on them Stunner!RESPECT!!

damn rodents! you know whats nice. the sticky traps. cause when they get caught they try to get away and if they do they tear off their skin and if they dont get away then you have the pleasure of bashing in their heads with whatever device you feel like. not that i sadistic in any way but what the hell yes is a great feeling killing those damn dirty pests. let the see death coming, mek them holla in dem rat language to warn their friends and comrads in arms. den murder dem bloodc**t! we naa no mercy like bounty killer. :-)

we had a bunch of mice the first summer we moved, pretty much my fault for letting the lawn grow so high and ignoring the hole in the back room but I fixed that and then went on an all out murder scheme an kill a good 5 or 6 with poison and sticky traps. since then we've seen maybe one more and i think i got him too.

damn.. that sounds like some serious infestation.

get a cat to deal with them :D

Oh good you had me laughing so hard, just the picture of you holding your head in agony...

Jdid you are a wicked man:) Stunner, I once stepped on a trap and I almost heard the rats laughing their little head soff

Stunner,you might want to follow up on Adrian's suggestion.A cat could be helpful in a situation like this,but it seems as if these rats are so large that they may scare the cat.

This was indeed a good laugh. Are you man or are you mouse? hahaha! Boy stunner u getting PWNED! by those little critters man. This is a true Tom and Jerry story. When you catch them make sure you back your 5G worth of revenge.

Good luck, Mr. Stunner. Getting a cat might be a good idea as well, I'm thinking.
Remember to spay or neuter it though.

@Gordon Swaby: I see you have crossed over to the dark side!

@Esteban Agosto Reid: I hope so too! But I will continue the fight!

@Jdid: These rats know how to escape from the sticky traps! But how I would love to have the pleasure of bashing those bastards!

@Adrian: Indeed, I might have to get a few cats to patrol the property!

@Justacoolcat: War indeed!!!

@Crankyputz: lol!

@GC: There are a few garbage receptacles on the complex, I guess they feed there mainly and now on my rat poison.

@Abeni: lol! I bet they did! Hush, I hope you caught a few with it after that unfortunate incident.

@taylor2nd: LOL!! If those were the ones I had, there would be no problem.

@Tami: It is indeed a Tom and Jerry story, but I will have my sweet revenge!

@MB & Esteban Agosto Reid: The cat sounds like a nice idea, I can just see him eating the bastards!

I'm still saying go with the bear trap. As for the cat, with the way these rats are moving, they'd make it their bitch.

The violence in you peeps is stunning....the outdoor ones get out of the glue stuff so I invested in 2 of the old fashioned ones, they've gotten out of these as well and then there's the clean up which is gross.....I remember that story about the "rats in the rose bush" they were stealing electricity maaan ......not sure you can win this war, but good luck.