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Friday, February 22, 2008

I Smell A Rat!!!

Literally! A gigantic killer rat has taken over my back porch! I was rudely awaken to the scent of ran excrement and the sight of rat feces all over my pack porch earlier this week when I was going to do some laundry. How dear this disease riddled criminal! As if invading my personal space without notice, this varmint has taken it upon itself to violate my residence with his filth! So you know Stunner will have none of that! This means war!

So off I went later in the day to arm myself for the war to protect my life and property from this reckless invader. I went to the supermarket and searched for the pest and insecticide isle where I picked my ammunition: Rat Glue Trap and some Farco Rat poison. Now it was time to set my traps and bait that little bugger! And so I did, rat poison and one glue trap, before retiring to bed within the confines of my base camp, AKA bedroom. The following morning I went out to see if I had been victorious! When I opened the door their was no sign of my glue trap and only a few crumbs of the rat poison was left! But there were still new feces all over my porch. So I decided I had to clean off my porch for health reason and for my own sanity. As I moved the washing machine, more feces was revealed and so was the missing glue trap, but not rat! Damn it!

Well, it was back to the gun store...I mean supermarket to stock up on some more rat poison, as obviously this rat is smart enough to break free of the glue trap. This time I didn't only buy Farco, but another brand. Yes two different types of poison in assorted flavours! This will definitely do some damage. So off I went back to the battle ground to set my traps. But this time I was ambushed, yes lay waited by the enemy! As I was tending to my plants that I had just outside the back porch I was attacked! That damn rat jumped out at me in ninja style! Well not exactly with marshal arts wielding a sword but that bugger ran over my foot! Oh so now the stakes are higher, this is a matter of honour!

So with even more determination I set my two flavours of rat poison side by side in strategic locations on my porch as well as the location from which the enemy lay waited me. I also set the last glue trap that I had in hopes of catching that bastard. The following morning I woke up to see the trap missing again and also two of the containers of rat poised devoured and also no feces. It seemed like my plan was working! But later that evening I saw that little varmint running past my porch like a soldier fleeing from an assault and also discovered the other glue trap abandoned outside.

I decided to leave the rest of the poison out on the porch and by yesterday morning all had been devoured, so maybe my plan is working. The directions on the rat poison said I should continue to use it until feeding stops, so since I am out I will have to restock and set more baits until. Hopefully I'll be victorious in my war to protect my property from this invader, or maybe it is not just one, but an army! Nevertheless, Stunner won't surrender, but will continue the fight and eradicate my porch from the enemy! The battle continues!!!

22 commented:

over your foot?!
that's unacceptable
may you vanquish your enemy.
such a nasty creature.

Bwoy i can understand....i have had what seems like a family in my back yard.....I went a bought the rat blocks at a farm store in Savannah Plaza though (not the supermarket)...they ate it all, but i need to reset again to see if they are still out there...

Yooo Stunner! That is one helluva story man. Hey, have you ever seen the movie Of Unknown Origin? It's about a... well, just rent it if you haven't seen it. It's old, like from 83 or 84 or something. But reading your post made me recall that movie! Right now, I can hear a critter in my attic for the past week 1/2. Geeez. And it's not even putting up anything to the mortgage.

Hey Stunner,you have to get rid of that very fast,be careful of leptospirosis.These guys urinate and drop their faeces everywhere.Make sure all drinking water is secured.Also,be careful that if you use poison to kill them that they do not go and die in your ceiling, because you will have an odor for weeks if you cannot locate the dead rats.Wish you the best on this one. WAR!RESPECT!!


@GC: That is indeed totally unacceptable, he must be vanquished!

@marangand: I think you should to ensure all those bastards are dead.

@Luke Cage: Never seen that movie, but I guessing it's full of evil, killer rats! I will have to check it out. LoL, they never@ help pout with the bills, freeloaders!

@ESTEBAN AGOSTO REID: That leptospirosis is my main concern! So I need to get rid of that rat. I have a slab roof, so I don't have to worry about him dieing in my ceiling.

@Mad Bull: YES SIR!!!

ahaha, this is the funniest thing i've heard since kat with the pimp chronicles. You do know that ur "Tom" right? and no matter what, the rodent family is having at laugh at ur expense. Good luck bro!

ugh this post literally made me want to throw up!!! thats just disgusting, i REALLY hate rats with a deep deep rooted hatred! nasty! if its a big rat what u need to do is set not one glue trap but like a maze because big rats can run over one but the next one will catch em...

i've had too many experience with hearing the glue trap catch rats and seeing my father run up to splat it so it wont wiggle off the trap...

lawd gee there goes my lunch


od luck in the war mi bredda. I helped my neighbour with a war with a whole colony last year....first time i knew rats could invest trees!

This is just the worse thing that could happen I think. Kill!Kill!Kill! hate them hate them. Grrr. Maakes me shudder just thinking about it.

lol.u sure is the same rat or one of its many relatives? One rat can't resit all that poison or they making rats tougher than before. Happy hunting:)

'Ow dat deh rat look so like 'im ready fi nyaam smaddy? Good luck massa.

Boy dat sound like a battle I had with one super rat a couple years ago. He had about two glue traps stuck to his feet and you could hear di bugger walking around in my kitchen! Bwoy dat thing drove me crazy!!! Bottles of bleach and disinfectant were used up. Packs of poison were devoured. I think I bought every single brand of rat poison at the supermarket. One day di brute just disappeared- glue traps and all. Never to be seen or heard from again. Never found any body or smell any dead rat, so I wondering if dis is de same rat in your house now!

lol :)

Of course ah threw out all my plates and utensils since the bugger had crapped all over them and ah just couldn't bring maself to use them even after soaking them in bleach.

Nuh give up yah Stunner. Kill him likkle backside yes.

Oh please! If you really wanted to kill the bugger, you wouldn't get those wussy humane glue traps, but a rat trap. Thinking about it, not even a rat trap, a BEAR TRAP!

Ok. So what you going to do wid de dead rat dem?

Its a horrible problem to have -- but, rat problem means that there's a garbage problem somewhere close by. Time to organize your neighborhood and call everyone to arms; if you run dem from your house, they go somewhere else near by, and will return to your residence some time in the near future. If you get rid of the source -- not easy I know, from i was born, I never see so much garbage pile up like i see now in ja -- it will make things easier in the long run.

Stunner, glue traps are a waste of time with large rats, they really only seem to work for mice.

I find the poison called 'Klerat' works well, some dark blue squares....True Value sells it. I hate the fuggers and fear them as well.

Dr. D.

Great post, i had to laugh at the " two flavors of rat poison" you too funny. Aluta Continua call for back up if you need any.

Lordy, tis a brave rat....think he's just havin some fun with you.

that's funny!
Were you successful???

I hate rats and rodents.

Though, you may want to think twice about poison. That stuf fis wicked and it keeps killing after the rat is dead.

dwl @ ann's comment:

"He had about two glue traps stuck to his feet and you could hear di bugger walking around in my kitchen!"

I am just picturing her rat walking around with the glue traps on his feet like flip flops :D

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