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Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Fooled by Porn

I was reading my favorite section in the Outlook magazine (cyaan buy di Sunday Gleaner an nuh read it) which is a part of the Sunday Gleaner, Doctor's Advice. An as usual I found a funny article so I decided to share it with you. No the picture wasn't in the gleaner, I just added it for the effect!


Fooled by films

"Doc, I am a guy of 24, and I would like to know if you think I am going to lose my nature I am fretting about my sex life, doc - because it seems to me like it is diminishing. What I mean is this. . I have been watching some of them 'blue movies,' and as a result I am sure I am inadequate, doc. The guys in these films seem like they are much more 'virile' than me. What is making me feel real bad is that now that I have watched them, I know that I am not producing enough sex fluid. So there must be something wrong with me. I only produce a tiny spoonful, and I think it has got less in the past few years. These guys in the videos make me look pathetic, doc. They produce pints or maybe gallons of fluid. I feel that they are real men, and that I am useless in comparison. I think that when I was 16 or 18, I produced more than I do now. So I fear that the volume will soon 'fade away' to nothing. Girls will not want me, and I think I will lose my nature completely. So please help me, doc. Prescribe a good tonic or something for me, but please, please help me!"
-
Outlook Sunday Magazine January 29, 2006.

Another misguided youth learning from the wrong sources.

21 commented:

fu&k is up with that dude?...calm down homie...jeez....he needs to stop watching "blue movies"...

LOL...poor fool....needs to make his own bkue movie

Had one o dem as a patient when I did GP work whose complaint was that his tool was too small....I was like...duuuh!?

Lol,I was thinking the complaint would be bout size.Stunner,what the reply was?

Obviously another victim of the facade that passes for American culture or as I would call it "The cable-ization syndrome".

The doc needs to tell this guy that the movies aren't "real". The men in the movies are paid to be able to get it up when the director says "now", and they last longer, etc. Poor ting!!

be fair stunna. if you don't watch "the making of ...(insert 'girl loves cookies pt 6|egyptian lovers|snoop's angles)" you'll be fooled into thinking that:

a) mr marcus is boning for hours
b) mr marcus has the stamina of 10 men
c) mr marcus is a source of endless fluid
d) mr marcus can bone six woman all at once

when i grow up i wanna be like mr marcus

Of course the yute not going to have a lot of fluid after watching all those blue movies! It don't grow on tree u know!

that's why men are so confused. they watch too much porn. we don't want you to go forever. that shit hurts after awhile.
what was the response??

hahaha what was the reply? Oh, I guess the usual, not to worry.

I don't know why people write to the problem pages, I bet they still carry on worrying same way. I wonder if it was a 'made up' question too?

haha, word verification: eujocksh

lol, poor guy. tell himm the same way arnold and bruce and vin diesel cant catch bullets wi dem teeth is the same way porn fake

Funny stuff.

Has anyone heard this one?

If you are going to eat a goat you have to see it killed. You don't want to eat any female goats now do you? Because, a man could of "been with" the female goat and it will ruin your Nature.

Myths.

Don't blame American Culture.

yeah I read that section and the auto classifieds too. nothing else. every week. and maybe the social section

Loree de fella got issues...he doan know that spoonfull does mek baby too. whalooosssss.....

Ha Ha Ha........poor guy. Blue movies can make things seem over the top......I hope he realizes this soon. Poor ting.

So... wait. Am I to understand that its only Mr. Marcus and the rest of the porn stars AND I that can last for hours on end and can fill a pint-sized milk bottle with cum? Thats pretty cool...

I don't even know what to say one.... they gotta tonic for everything... lol so who knows..

Stunner...you see how porn sell....look pon comment!

Mad Bull

I hear you, Studly.