Mi Hot Nuh R...!!!

If someone said it was hot here in Jamaica, they would be lying! Merely saying it is hot is an understatement! It r... &%@$@*! hot!

Now whenever the temperature gets hot, my apartment amplifies the temperature at least ten folds (that is 10 times r... &%@$@*! hot!). That place is like a freaking oven! I swear that at times if I crack an egg on any surface in the place it would fry, if I made the batter for a cake and left it on the counter it would bake! It's as if the former days of me sleeping under the cover sheets in my nightly attire of merino and boxers/boxer-briefs was nothing but merely a figment of my twisted imagination. Now I have lost the sheet, the merino, thinking about loosing the boxers/boxer-briefs, and if I could take off my skin I would do that too! The fan is now on the second speed and I'm thinking of bucking it, but even that is to no avail as it only pushes hot air on my already overheated body.

I am seriously thinking about asking my landlady once again to install an AC unit. I know this will mean a serious increase in my electricity bill and more likely an increase in my rent. But seriously, I am willing to fork out the extra doe for a good nights sleep. I will pay to feel comfortable in my place, to not feel like I have entered another hostile atmosphere of super heated air every time I open the door and step inside that furnace! I dread though, that when I ask her she will give the the excuse of not having any money to do that installation, especially since she forked out some money a few days ago to replace the entire back grill. Oh yeah, I didn't tell you, the back grill was replaced with a much sturdier structure to thwart the efforts of those disgusting creatures called thieves! Yay!

But alas, that new grill has interfered with my plans to get in an AC before the full brunt of the summer kicks in. It's just June 8, not yet officially summer an it hot suh! Yuh can imagine when summer peak? Mi just dead! I can just picture me suffering from dehydration in my own apartment, the fan blowing nothing but super heated air maintaining the head with the conduction, my skin slowly cooking to a tender Stunner Roast, seasoned in my own body salt! By then I might as well just walk around naked with a tomato in my mouth until I collapse in the heat, by then I'll be well-done!

I need some relief, even being at work seems appealing now because of the constant AC. Maybe I should walk with a pillow and a sheet and just sleep on the lounge chair in the pantry... hmm, that could work... right? I know I'm not making much sense right now, it's the heat, the unbearable, torturous, incessant heat!!! Aaahhhh!!!