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Tuesday, May 16, 2006

True Emergency Room Stories

I got this email from one of my co-workers and I decided to share it with you. Seems I am just sharing emails these days. Don't worry I will be posting my original post next time.

Be warned these accounts are of a very graphic descriptive nature which some persons may find disturbing!


FEMALE SOFA----- A 500lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime was found under one of her breasts and a remote control was found lodged between the folds of her vulva.

PRICKLY PAIR-----OUCH! In Michigan, a man came into the ER with lacerations to his penis. He complained that his wife had "...a rat in her privates..." which bit him during sex (not the first conclusion I would have drawn, I don't think). After an examination of his wife, it was revealed that she had a surgical needle left inside her after a recent hysterectomy.

PING PONG ANYONE?----- A 20 year old man came into the ER with a stony mass in his rectum. He said that he and his boyfriend were fooling around with concrete mix, when his boyfriend had the idea of pouring the mix into his anus using a funnel (you'd do the same, I'm sure!)?!!. The concrete then hardened, (no shit; Sherlock!), causing constipation and pain. Under general anesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man's rectum was removed along with a ping pong ball.

BLIND DRUNK----- A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining of severe pain while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said that they would come out halfway, but they always popped back in. A nurse tried to help using a suction pump, but without success. Finally, a doctor examined him and discovered the man did not have his contact lenses in at all. He had been trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea.

OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH!----- A couple hobbled into a Washington State emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his hands around his abdomen and the woman had hers around her head. They eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening for a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the table to administer oral sex to the man (Classy or what??). While in the act, she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down on the man's penis and wrench it from side to side. In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let go."

I don't know how true these stories are, but hey, there are some crazy people out there!

Check out this blog, it's a Jamaican bother all the way in Japan. He is actually blogging a novel!

7 commented:

Stunner..maybe one day I should blog some of my own hospital experiences! Trus me!

I prips the link...rude bwoy never loaf fe work de hood!

"A rat in her privates" huh? A likely story. And how in the hell does one ignore a remote control jammed up one's whatsit?

Damn. Some of these can't actually have occured. Some people are...ooh!!

WOW!The freaky gay couple have me lost for words

Wow...the couch lady was a mess:( Where do you find these stories huh?

hahahahahha ya clazy, clazy guy. my brother use to tell me some shit when he worked in ER. people eh.

Crazy white folk. Only in America.