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Monday, March 06, 2006

Wife 1.0

I still have another test to deal with this week so I can't get to write a good post until after Wednesday. So I'll introduce you guys to a software on the market that I learned about via a friends email. It seems some of the MEN 2006 systems are experiencing some problems after installing this software. Here is a common problem that some users are experiencing and a typical technical solution.


Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Domino Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run , crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

A Troubled User.


Dear Troubled User,

This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this.

Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear.exe" to alleviate software augmentation.The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean.exe and Sweep.exe, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2 .

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag-Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0. WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system and your hardware.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

Have a productive week everyone!

9 commented:

Dis one ole Stunner.

My hard drive still working well! ;-) Not that you need to know.

Veeery funny! I will definitely be passing this on. Hope you don't mind. Thanks for the encouraging words. Good luck with your test!

i wonder what men 2007 would be like :D

A classic, thanks for stopping by Stun, I know you've been a busy man.

'ka - I think that after you get output from men 2007 it crashes.

big mistake the man mek, stick wid girlfriend 7.0 lol

Doc D. not upgrading from 7.0. Too late for me, I have to deal with all of those glitches.

LOL, I think my version needs rebooting.

Awesome post. I just might steal it.