Random Gibber

What's in the Jamaican News

This comic covers the major news in the Jamaican media for the past month. Everywhere you turn, in every Newspaper, Every TV news broadcast and every radio newscast and talk show the first thing they discuss or report on is the PNP presidential campaign! There is no escaping it, it's everywhere! Damn it I'm tired of hearing about who is going to lead the band of thieves ( yes, politician is another word for thief)!

Nice Weather

That's how I can describe the weather here in Kingston for the past couple of days. The days have been bright and sunny and windy. Yes wind blowing every second of the day, from gentle light breeze to moderate gusts of wind. The sky has been dominated by brilliant sunshine, no sir not even a glimpse of rain. And what about the temperature? Coool man! Yep, nice and cool during the days and even cooler at nights.

Creative!

I received this in an email and, being the kind person I am(grinning), I decided to share it with you all.

Amazing what a little imagination and skill can do!

When To Say "Oh Shit!" And Wet Your Pants

There are a couple of circumstances or situations in life where you are allowed to say "Oh Shit!" and wet your pants like a baby. This is definitely one of them!

Have a great week!

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Women, Know When To Stop!!!

We are now living in an age when women are experiencing, female liberation and empowering. Gone are the days when women were barred from perusing certain interests. Women are no longer sitting on the sidelines as spectators, they are now Lawyers, CEOs, Prime Ministers, Presidents, Athletes in formally male dominated sports. But there is an aspect of this whole female revolution that bothers me. Don't get me wrong, I am not a against women being treated as equal and being allowed to pursue their dreams. However, there is one thing that I don't appreciate women pursuing and I honestly don't think women should be doing it!

By now you must have been wondering what the hell I'm talking about. Well I guess the pictures speak for themselves. The sport of Women Bodybuilding. This extreme sport has been experiencing a growing amount of female devotees. Note, that there many categories of female body building. But the one that I can't accept is the extreme end of the competition, where the women have slipped over the Heavy Weight Body Builder. Here, I can't agree with a woman pursuing her dream or partaking in a male sport if this is where she wants to go. The men who go to the extremes already look like freaks, and I can't find a word to describe the women! I know I'm sounding a bit harsh on the women bodybuilders, but to me they have gone too far. Why must a women go to this extreme and mutate their bodies in such a manner?



At this stage a woman borders on that line that divides the sexes. These female bodybuilders have not just become muscular, but have also started look like the men in their league. Their bodies have taken on the shape of a man's, their faces also have the appearance of a man's face, their breasts have been devoured by massive pectoral muscles and even their voices have deepened! This is not natural! I know I'm not the one to define what a woman should look like, but I honestly don't think a woman should look like. A woman can be well tones, have some amount of defined muscles but not to the extreme where you have to be thinking twice if she is a he! Some of you may say that it's the woman's right to do whatever she wants with her body, I agree, it's hers, but I don't see anything sexy about looking that way, nor can I fathom a good explanation for pursuing this form of body mutation.

Women, pursue your goals, challenge yourselves, be free to express yourselves, but their is a limit...know when to stop!

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Weh Di *@*%! Mi Medication Deh!

Once again Stunner finds himself in another adventure. If you remember I related one of my adventures in Mi Key To Ra..! Well, here is the sequel, another mis-adventure of Stunner!

I had a cold last week, but it blew off in a short time and wasn't all that bad, or so I thought. It seems this cold decided to leave a going away gift with me! I developed a throat infection which was very irritating. So I had to go to the doctor to get some relief.

2:45 pm Monday afternoon, I arrived at my apartment with my bag of medication. So yeah I ate some lunch and took my tablets and went to sleep. Got up, went to the gym, worked out, came back home and had a shower and was about to drop my medication in my bag so I could take it in the morning after eating my breakfast at work. Hold on, wait a minute..."weh di bag wid di box dem wid di tablet deh?!"

Didn't I take the medication earlier today? So I must have taken them out of the car! Stunner frantically looking all over the place, on the kitchen counter, in my room, under the bed, on the balcony, in the bathroom, in the garbage pan in my room! At this time yuh know seh some serious %!$*&?!$^ start cuss! "A weh di $#!*@%@#* bag wid di tablet dem deh? Cho %^@^%@&^!!!" Hold on......

Flashback! Did you not wash up the dishes and cleaned up the place...threw away some unwanted plastic bags that were lying around the place in the kitchen's garbage bin...and threw the garbage down the chute? "$@$^@*&^%@$@!!! Mi nah go back a doctor fi sit dung fi hours in di waiting room again fi da damn medication yah!!!" No, no, no, I was not about to do that at all! I had to get back my medication. How will I get it? Jump down the chute?

By now it is about 12:00 am Tuesday morning. With my mind made up and determined to get back my medication, I strapped up with my gloves and my flashlight. Jumping down the chute did not seem like a good idea, nor something hygienic! But, there is a gate downstairs where the garbage truck collects the garbage. So I headed downstairs, trying to look inconspicuous and scouting out the place to ensure no one sees me going to the garbage room. Nu want dem think mi gone mad now! Tip toe, tip toe....

Alas, I made it to the dumpster in the garbage room undetected, and low and behold there was the garbage bag...perched right in the centre of the dumpster on a heap of rotting, stinking, dirty, nasty garbage! "How di %@&@$!@* mi a go get da damn bag yah!" I could climb up on the edge of the dumpster and try to stretch for the bag, but then I might just fall right in. So I started to walk around outside the dumpster thinking of ideas to reach my bag, while making sure I'm not seen. Luckily some workmen were working on an apartment and left some thin strips of board lying at the base of the garbage room door. AHA! Idea! I decided to take one and fish out my garbage bag. Well, it worked like a charm...I spent only 15 mins trying to fish that damn bag from the dumpster! Burst open the garbage bag, and look, there was the bag with my medication, all neatly tied up and resting among my garbage.

Well, in case you might be saying that's nasty to ingest the medication after all of that, it did deh inna a bag, inna a box, an inna the plastic/aluminum packaging! It did still clean...right Dr.D? And I am still alive and have not suffered and gastric disorders...and of course my throat is slowly getting better.

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Bun Him!

Macka Diamond (centre) and Black-Er (right)

"Bun him!
(Whoii!)
Tek man pon him
Tek di house an land an run him
(Guweh!)
Bun him!
(Whoii!)
Tek di car and van an run him
(Guweh!) Bun him!..."

This is the chorus of a song that is riding the air-waves and stirring up a lot of heat in the Jamaican Dancehall fraternity. The song titled Bun Him, by Female DJ Macka Diamond and Male DJ Black-Er, has been having a lot of air play since its release. Click here to hear a sample of the song.

But that's not all the song has been doing, it seems the song has stirred up outrage among many male Dancehall artistes. It has been a part of the Jamaican culture for men to have multiple female partners, however, it is wrong for a woman to cheat on her man, or I should say Bun him. This sentiment is glorified and preached in many of the dancehall songs, which might be the reason why it is entrenched in our society. Therefore, it follows that this song goes against that ideal of the Danchall community. Many artiste seem to be upset about what this song is encouraging. And worst, is the fact that a male DJ has joined the female and is encouraging her to give her man bun! It has gotten to the point where other artistes, such as Twins of Twins, have made it there point of duty to dis Black-Er in one of their songs. That's not all! Some have even accused Black-Er as being gay! An yuh know how serious that accusation is in Jamaican society! It has been reported that the situation has gone even to the extent of Black-Er getting death threats! What the hell! Check out the Star's article here. Dem want fi kill di man fi just da song deh? A what a gwaan inna Ja?

Personally I don't have a problem with the song. I actually like it! I really don't take the song seriously, to me it's a fun and funny song and it's on a catchy beat that fits it well. As for the message of the song, I don't have a problem with it. Black-Er is not encouraging the women to just get up out of the blue, go out and give their men bun (cheat). If you listen to the words of the song you will notice that the man is not just cheating on the woman with several women, but he is doing it blatantly, right in front of her face. If yu a gi bun yuh woman nuh fi know, simple! Every real player knows that! Not saying I'm a player. Macka Diamond also goes on to relate in the song that the man is abusing her and will not allow her to leave him, even threatening her. In such a situation, in all fairness, if him get bun him nuh fi complain. I can't understand why so many DJs have a problem with this song, when they themselves sing the same thing! Yes the same set of DJs hitting out on this song, in countless number of songs, sing that if the woman's man is not treating the her right, or if di wuk nuh good (if the sex in not good) the woman should give him, the DJ, a piece (cheat on the man with him). But I guess that's just a part of the double standards in our society.

As for me I will continue to have fun and play Bun Him!

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Orange Pineapple

I have decided to share another piece of myself with you. This is one of my drawings. Yes I do have an artistic side. This piece is titled Orange Pineapple. Well I guess I don't have to explain the meaning of the drawing. I will leave it up to you to derive a meaning from it. I love to draw, sometimes I even find myself scribbling on a piece of paper at work. I haven't done any decent drawings lately, I think I should start drawing again and improve my skills. I didn't have any formal training where drawing is concerned and that is one of my biggest mistakes and regret not doing it so much. I should have pursued my drawing ability and do some classes. I hope I will be able to find the time to sit and do some more drawings and in the future even go to some art classes.

Enjoy your weekend everyone.

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"Bum-Bie-Bie Inna ....."

Of late Jamaica has been getting a bad rap for its anti-gay culture. Human rights organizations, such as Amnesty international, gay rights groups such as the UK based OUTRAGE and even the local JFLAG have been targetting Jamaica. Certain Dancehall DJs have had their international shows cancelled, been dropped by Corporate organizations and the latest, is having their microphones cut during their performance due to their stance. Certain DJs have been blacklisted, and are not allowed to perform shows in certain regions. These human rights and gay support groups have been pressuring the Jamaican government to accept and legalize the "form of alternate lifestyle". They have also gone as far as alleging that all Jamaicans carry out acts of violence against homosexuals and constantly persecute them.

But I think these people are treating Jamaica unfairly where this is concerned. So in defense of Jamaica:

1. Yes homosexuality is illegal in Jamaica. And it ought to remain like that! Like me most Jamaicans believe that it is wrong, immoral and nasty! Jamaica has a Christian background and hence the majority of Jamaicans see homosexuality as going against what the bible preaches. I don't agree with members of society going out and attacking these people. They have the right to choose to do what they want to do with their lives in privacy. As long as they don't bring their nastiness to me, I don't have a problem with them. The Bible did done seh these things would happen. As the late dancer Bogle said, "Dem ova de suh and mi ova yah suh", or something like that.
2. Jamaicans on a whole do not attack or persecute gays and lesbians as described by these organizations. The majority of Jamaicans, despite being against it, do not seek out and attack them. I am not saying that there might not have been incidents, but I'm sure that gay bashing occurs in other countries as well, even the tolerant USA and the accommodating UK! I have seen these people blatantly walking in the middle of Half Way Tree, and no one attacking them or verbally abusing them. The most you might see is people staring, giggling and shaking their heads as they whisper to each other. This is a normal behavior of any society to things that they do not accept or find strange.
3. Yes the Dancehall songs, hit out against them. Some do preach violence against them. Yes most people in the clubs and dances put up there hands to these songs. This has been going on from the 80's and it has not caused any widespread violence against homosexuals, as these organizations would want people to believe! Some of these songs are figurative, for example, fia-bun (burn fire) is used by Rastafarian DJs as a word to show disapproval, and to signal cleansing. They have said fia-bun (burn fire) for things such as the injustices in society, politicians’ behavior and police actions in their songs.
4. I'm sure that Jamaica is not the only country that does not support this lifestyle, or has laws against homosexuality. The majority, if not all the countries of the Middle East despise this way of life and have strict laws against homosexuality. If a homosexual is caught in these countries the punishment is death! But I don't hear or see OUTRAGE or JFLAG condemning them or targeting them. A wi alone dem have strength fah?
5. Racism and other wrongs are still strong and out rightly practiced in the same countries that Amnesty International and other human rights organizations are based. Yesin the great USA and UK, and they are not making a big stink about it. Racial discrimination is practiced and even preached in many areas of these countries and I am not hearing any of these human rights people making a big deal about it. Weh unnuh deh?
6. The culture of the country is anti-gay. So why are these organizations trying to impose a certain lifestyle on us that is contrary to our beliefs? You say we treat gays unfairly, but isn't forcing us to accept something we detest being unfair?

I know I have touched a very sensitive and controversial issue, but I had to voice my concerns and my thoughts on this issue in attempt to defend my country. Those are just a synopsis of my thoughts and how I see it. What are your thoughts?

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Weekend Rewiew

The weekend is over, damn it blew by so quickly, or is it because I spent the weekend between work and in my bed. Nevertheless, I did do something this weekend. I went to see a play on Sunday evening up by The Phillip Sherlock Centre at the University of the West Indies, Mona. The play was titled "Aida of Nubia". (Picture above adopted from a similar play) The story is about a Nubian princess who was captured by a Egyptian General and his army when the invaded her homeland. I would have summarized the whole play for you, but I won't. Just in case the play is still in the theaters and and some of you might want to go to watch it. But the play was a good one, I enjoyed it. The actors were good too, and some of them were really good singers. The actors spanned a wide range of age groups, from prep-schools to upper-high school students and probably a few university students. The proceeds were for charity, which is always a good thing. The $700 ticket was worth it...although I didn't pay for it! Chatting bout play, I also got a chance to see Vibes a few weeks ago! Vibes was absolutely wonderful, the best play I have watched since Cinderelisha and the DJ Prince! It had me laughing my bellybottom out. I plan to get myself the DVD when I get paid if I can clear my ever-mounting bills.

It's Monday morning and the beginning of another work week for most of you. So here is a little something that all you employees should know:

SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T).

We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the course, please see your supervisor. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T list and our supervisors are especially skilled at seeing you get all the S.H.I.T you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T).Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T seriously will have ! to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T).

Since our supervisors took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T already. If you are full of S.H.I.T you may be interested in a job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T).

For employees who are intending to pursue a career in management and consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T). This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T).

Thank you,BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING(B.I.G.S.H.I.T)

P.S. Now send this S.H.I.T to 5 people who need S.H.I.T in their life, just not the same person who sent you this S.H.I.T. They have already had their fill of S.H.I.T.Thank you for your time!

Sincerely,

The Director Under the Main Bureau of Super High Intensity Training.(The D.U.M.B.S.H.I.T.)

Enjoy your week!!!

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Tek It Easy

Nothing much to blog about tonight. Just here at work counting down the time till I go home to get some sleep. I have been at work from 8:00 this morning and now its' some minutes past 11 pm. I am so tired, I've been going to bet late every night and waking up early everyday since Monday morning. But tomorrow I get to wake up late, yes 10:00am, 11:00 am. I have even cancelled all my alarm, now I'm thinking of turning off the ringer on my phones. Yes some rest at last. My plans for tomorrow: sleep, laze-around, read some blogs, watch TV, sleep...you get the picture!

I hope you like the picture on the post, taken from my website Scenes of Jamaica. I took this picture at Breezes Montego Bay. I think this picture is very relaxing and gives of a laid-back restful feeling. I hope you all get to relax or just unwind over the weekend...yeh, tek it easy!

While you're kicking back this weekend you may want to visit this site I stumbled on: reggae-vibes.com. It has an audio list of Richie-B's top 20 reggae/dancehall tunes in Jamrock.

Enjoy your weekend!!!

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Free Paper Bun - Back To School Again

School has started once again for me. The second semester of year 2 of my crappy degree programme, after this semester there will be only two more semesters left to go and I'll be finished with this damn stressful programme! A cyaan wait!

Unlike the Utech I know, the lecturers have started out full force in this first week of school! Normally the first week is basically a waste of time. But this year is different, nuh know a weh dem deh pon! My notebooks have started to become populated with numerous scribbling and notes. This semester promises to be a challenging one as my course have now deviated from the standard engineering core to encompass non-technical courses. I am doing Managerial Economics as well as Seminar. Managerial Economics will be new to me since I have a technical, science background. I have only done two other business subject in my life. Entrepreneurship and an introduction to management. Seminar is somewhat familiar as I did presentations in my Communication course back in the Diploma Days. Seminar involves choosing a topic, doing research on the topic, write and print a book and do a presentation on the topic for the class. So you can guess that I'm now fishing for a topic!

So yes mi free paper bun, time to buckle up and do some studying before the tests and exams creep up on me. Of course I don't know my grades as yet, because Jamaica's "biggest high school", has not posted the grades as yet since their online system that we use to view the grades has been down now for over a week now. So I'm still in limbo stressing out myself, hoping and praying that I passed last semester's courses.

Got to run, need to get some sleep for work...and the dreaded traffic tomorrow morning.

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Just Chatting Away About Random Stuff

Morning Traffic is Back!!!

"Ting-a-linga-ling! School bell ring and it's traffic time again!" Yes my fellow bloggers, the second part of the school year has begun, or for some the first semester of the new year. And the traffic is back with full force, yes vengeance for the holiday break that we so much enjoyed when we sped to work on the almost empty roads in the mornings after leaving home late. Anticipating this phenomenon, I set early a bit early this morning...and also because mi gas needle was on E... to beat the traffic. I was certainly not disappointed, the traffic was there lying in ambush! It took me 40 minutes to reach work from my home, and I live less than a mile away! Nevertheless I arrived early, so tomorrow morning is the same routine, clock alarms at 6:00, I press snooze, phone alarm goes off, I lock it off, clock goes off again and finally Stunner wakes up. Rush, rush, rush, fix breakfast to carry to work, bathe get ready, shot it through some shotta "ghetto" areas to beat the traffic and still end up in traffic. Then slowly endure the pain of the traffic jam to work.

Something To Taste

Something for you guys to try out. Sorrel Chutney. I got this at my staff party in December. They gave out gifts to those who arrived early. I had it dashed down in my apartment., so I decided to give it a try. It wasn't too bad. I ate it with some crackers, although I doubt that's how I was supposed to eat it...anyway I man did hungry! It has a sweet strawberry-like taste but spicey, which is due to the pepper and seasonings, including a bit of garlic. I plan to try it with some saltfish fritters the next time I eat it. I have always wondered why Jamaica doesn't explore the endless possibilities of Sorrel and give up on the damn sugar! Sorrel chutney, jam, drink, wine and the list goes on. I'm sure if it is marketed properly and aggressively it could generate a lot of revenue for the country!

Cold Front

A cold front passed over Jamaica Saturday, bringing nice cool weather to the island and chilly gusts. I thoroughly enjoyed the cool weather, even though it lasted only for the day. It was gone by about Sunday . The weather facilitated my days rest, since I worked the night shift for the whole weekend! It was so sweet to just go home an curl up in my bed and sleep out the whole day. Wouldn't mind another one.

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A Poem From A Lover

I will seek and find you . . .

I shall take you to bed and have my way with you

I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan.

I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop.

I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I'm finished with you.

And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days.

All my love,

The Flu

Now, get your mind out of the gutter and go get your flu shot!

Have a Great Weekend!!!

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2006 - What The New Year Symbolizes

2006

"Happy new year!" These words have been on the tongues of so many people, in countless emails and on numerous blogs these past few days. The new year for some people signals a fresh start, a new beginning. For some it commences the writing of new year's resolutions, goals and plans that are to be accomplished during the course of the new year. For others it is just another year, another period in their lives, another twelve months of trying to survive, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Many persons celebrate this occasion in different ways. These celebrations rage from: church services, called "Watch-night Service" here in Jamaica, the extravagant "New Years Ball", and elaborate fireworks that light up the night sky. They welcome the new year and anticipate what it may bring.

To me the new year symbolizes a new start. An opportunity to have a new beginning in the book of my life. I personally don't believe in the whole New Year's Resolution idea. However, at the beginning of the year I try to set a few goals for the year. After all, life is like a out-of-control car, speeding down a hill, without some form of plan. So I try to set some goals and figure out how to accomplish them. The new year has the potential for me to seize more opportunities to better myself, improve my personality and help others in their journey of life. Life has it's ups and downs and the new year is no different. I brace myself for the struggles, the disappointments, the mental and emotional anguish as well as the physical strain that will inevitably come with the progression of a new year. However, I look forward to the wonderful surprises ahead, the achievement of my goals, new and maturing friendships, wonderful experiences and waking up alive and healthy every morning.

Overall, I could summarize a new year as, a fresh beginning with endless possibilities, a combination of disappointments and heart-breaks, triumphs over adversities and joyful moments. My advise to anyone is: to enjoy every moment of your life, rely on God for strength, treat yourself and just live! All the best for the new Year!

That's my thoughts on what the new year signifies. What does the new year mean to you?

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Portland Pics and Scenes of Jamaica

Back From Portland

I know I've been away from my blog lately. Don't worry I have not abandoned my blog. As I said in my last post I was heading to Portland. I hadn't been to Portland in such a long time. Nothing much has changed, still a quiet rural town. I met up with some of my friends and former class-mates who were also visiting for the holidays. And of course I had to visit the beach. My friends and I went to Frenchman's Cove. Frenchman's Cove is a nice little beach, with a wonderful landscape, as you can see from the pictures. I had a wonderful time at the beach and also the river that flows into the sea. I went to Boston for some Jerk, had some pork and chicken with some festivals. It's not at nice as before. I didn't get to sample Dr. D's Jerk place in Buff Bay, as I was in a rush both going to and coming from Portie. I'll try to stop there the next time I visit Portland. Enjoy the pictures.

Scenes of Jamaica Launched!

As you may have noticed, quiet a few of the pictures above have Scenes of Jamaica printed on it as well as the URL. If you remember I made mention of the website I was working on. Well, it is up and running. I have uploaded most of the pictures of Jamaica that I have taken thus far. You can visit the site at http://www.scenesofjamaica.com.jm . The site also contains brief info about the island such as its location, history and the national symbols. I'm sure you will like the pictures of the beautiful island, Jamaica.

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