The Third Decade Begins

So today I began my third decade on the face of the earth, thirty years in the short span of mans life-cycle. First of all, let me give God thanks for allowing me to live to see thirty years, a lot have not gotten this far. But as I begin this third decade in my existence, I look at my life thus far and find that I am very unsatisfied with how my life is after thirty years. I remember how my life was full of directions in my teens, hell even in my young 20's I still had an idea of the direction my life was going and what I wanted. Things used to be clear-cut, more black and white... a stark contrast to what it seems now, a meandering collision of uncertainty and several shades of gray mixed with even a full kaleidoscope of colours.

When I was much younger, in my early 20's (I'm laughing as I type that), I pictured that by now my life would have been much different. I thought by now I would be a successful employed man, married with children, living in my first home. Yeah back then it seemed far of, yeah, like I had a lot of time to accomplish this feat. But, it's so surprising how fast time goes by... they say when you are about to die all your life flashes in front of your eyes... I guess I have been dieing, because everything went by so quickly. It seems the time went by and I didn't even noticed it, I didn't even lived it. At thirty I am unemployed, still single with so many uncertainties of marriage and children due to my own fears and mistakes. As for my own home, that is just a figment of what was once my imagination. Life just doesn't turn out as one wish it would... but that's life for you.

Honestly I don't feel like I am thirty, lol, I don't even feel like I am 25... I guess when I'm 40 I'll be saying the same thing even though by then my body will begin to say otherwise. Now I have embarked on the third decade of an endangered specie, yes, there is only one me and there will forever me only one me. Still a lot of possibilities lay ahead, more disappointments, more surprises, more good times, and of course the ever constant changes as life goes on.  I want to be young forever, but that is not possible in this sinful existence of man, so the best we can do is appreciate every day that we open our eyes and have the health and strength to get out of that bed. I guess once there is still life, health and strength there are still possibilities and potential, one small step in the increment of time, one large step in the life of The Stunner. This may have just been a long post of endless rambling induced by Appleton and orange juice, so don't read too deeply. Hmm, so this is what 30 feels like...